2007

i spend new years crying away from the group and the few friends. i walked away and broke down somewhere. i dont want this to be my life anymore. i dont want this anymore.

ive been skipping classes. ive just been traveling around the place and smoking dope in hidden spots. i just cant go there. i hate it at school. im surrounded by fucking assholes. they make passes at me but thats not what i want. i want to be loved, not used.

ive been spending time on 4chan. i clipped newspaper bits about shootings. i bought a sharp knife.

my parents were called to school on how ive been missing all my classes. they didnt even want to listen. they just yelled at me. no one wants to listen. i hate it. i cant focus, i cant feel okay, i cant feel me.

i went past my old school and saw him. hes doing higher education so he had an extra year at the school. he looks healthy. he was happy to see me for a moment. we sat on a bench for a minute before break was over and the janitor shooed me away

my parents are still mad. they hate how theyve wasted money on me and i agree. i cant tell them i hate them. i cant tell them i want to kill myself every day until i get stoned.

my brother took me to the unemployment office. im a cleaner now. at least im left alone. no one here cares. no one looks at me. im alone.

they keep policing and helicoptering me about my job. when they see me they ask when im leaving for work.

i have to start a new school or they are gonna throw me on the street